Attention - This might be the most interesting job post you'll ever read.
Are you a writer that can make anyone's heart BEAT, BANG AND HAMMER with such extreme fascination that they stop everything else and chow down every word you write like a cheetah on red bull?
Can you take a simple concept and make it dramatic, eye-catching and thrilling at the same time?
Are you crafty enough to use tiny little words on paper to make anyone's emotions rise and fall like the ocean waves?
First things first. Our target market is "WOMEN" and women love details. Lots of them.
Which is why we need someone who is a master wordsmith and has a third degree black belt in "SHOW" and "TELL" style of writing.
Here is what I need from you…
1- I am lazy. No seriously. I truly am. If you ever saw the condition of my work table you'd know exactly what I mean (It looks as HORRIFIC as a messy city after a hurricane).
Since I am lazy, I can't give my writer the luxury of being lazy and don't need someone who writes just for the heck of filling pages. I need someone who loves, is addicted to and is actually obsessed with this craft.
I'll give you "SPECIFIC" notes (I'll provide the research, which sometimes might be a few lines) and you'll have to make it sound valuable, logical and full of juice.
In short, I'll handle the research part (so you have your work slightly cut out for you) and you'll have to expand, enlarge and embellish it.
2- I love speed. I know in real life, speed can kill. However, in the wonderful world of writing, speed can actually save lives. Therefore, I need someone who can write with the speed of a bullet train.
And this is a seriously big "BUT".
Putting words on paper just isn’t enough. These words have to be meaningful and powerful. Ideas should flow from your brain as smoothly as water off a duck's back.
3- I’ve had some terrifyingly unusual experiences with a few writers online.
I've hired a few writers in the past who promised to build me a "TAJ MAHAL" but when they return the work, it looked no better than the budget room of a rundown motel.
My expectations have been assaulted and brutally murdered more times than I can count.
Therefore, please explain in vivid and clear detail why you believe that you're the right person for this job. In short, can you evoke a response from me? If yes, you're the right person for this job.
4- Do you know how to make something sound valuable? I HATE generic writing with a passion.
Just pull up a random Google search about "How to make a man like you" and you'll find yourself in a jungle of links after links with ridiculously horrible content like -
Dress nice, smile, speak politely and magically the man of your dreams will crawl over burning coal just to have a moment of your time.
Whenever I see content like this, it's like watching a car wreck in slow motion. It's never pretty.
Which is why - I need someone who can not only make it highly juicy to read, but also make it sound so valuable that the end user gets plenty of "AHA" moments.
Now let's get to the part that you've been eagerly waiting for…
So you probably have 2 questions right now - How much do you want me to write and how much will you pay me?
Well, currently I have several projects (I might tell you more about it in case you match the requirements), however, this project is for a 50,000 word e-book.
The theme of this book is "How to win over any man you desire".
And you'll get $2000 to finish this (we can discuss the turnaround time once you message me).
There you go, that’s my short & sweet list.
If you happen to match my requirements then I’ll welcome you exactly like a fat kid welcomes a cheese cake.
P.S Please reply back to this job with the title - "I'll build you a Taj Mahal". This is just to weed out a few writers who reply to every job post without bothering to read it.
P.P.S Do attach any and every sample you have which proves that you can do this job.